80th International Convention, July 3, 2015 Atlanta, GA

Huge Kick Off Party for the 80th International Convention!
Dinner & Concert
July 3, 2015
Pre purchased ticket holders only
Information Here;

http://www.sobercelebrations.com/atlantajuly2015.html

Concert Sponsored by: Gratitude Cruises, Caron & Hanley Foundation, & Willingway Hospital

The Hope Jacket

 

     An enthusiastic  newcomer fell in love at first sight with my old hippie jeans Sergeant Pepper jacket. She was from Romania and  said it reminded her of a jacket she had and loved when she was a young girl at home. I had been pulling for her at every meeting. I get very excited when young girls are enthused about sobriety, because I was a young new girl once and can see how they have their whole lives ahead of them if they stay sober because that is what happened to me.

    The next time I saw her, I told her “I’ll make a deal with you. If you stay sober for one year, I will give you the jacket”.  A year is a long time to go without a drink, to stay focused and dedicated to a program you know nothing about, to learn the language of the heart, to trust in strangers, to find a God that loves you, to invest in something that is totally foreign to you. I know because I did it and thought that first year was 3,000 nights long.

     She was thrilled. When she got 30 days she couldn’t wait to see me at a meeting and tell me. I told her she just earned a sleeve of the jacket. When she got 60 days she was jubilant. I told her she had earned another sleeve. When she was 90 days sober, she earned the mandarin collar and I started writing in the seams of the jacket absolutely sure she would be wearing it. We were on our way.

     Something seems to happen in that first year of sobriety, confusion, wonder, struggle, and huge mood swings. My whole life I thought if only I had the right clothes, job, boyfriend, etc. I would be happy.  And so not knowing who or what to be after being sober a few months, some of us fall back to that old agenda of chasing  outside things to make us happy.  That was what happened to the newcomer I was saving my jacket for.  She thought new teeth would make her happy. She stole the money to get the new teeth, the guilt set in and she disappeared. The enemy never sleeps. If only it were just about drinking it would be so simple. The physical allergy to alcohol is just the beginning of finding out how this disease manifests itself. It always wants us to feel bad enough about ourselves to drink.

     I would gladly give up every piece of clothing in my closet to every newcomer if that is what it took for them to stay sober. When I was new I wondered why these people were so focused on me staying sober for a year. Then one night a man named Emil told me a story:

“A condemned man was brought before the King. The King passed the death sentence for the crimes he had committed and asked if the man had any final words. The man said, "I have a proposition for you, King. Give me a year and I will teach your horse how to talk." He was a very good salesman and after much talking and strong persuasion, the King threw up his hands and said, "O.K. you have a year to make my horse talk!  Take him away!" As the guards took him back to his cell they told him he was daft because no one could get an animal to talk. The man simply said, "In a year, three things could happen; I could die, the King could die, or the horse could talk."

     That story I understood.  I had been willing to give myself the time to find out what reality was, what my life was about and how I could find true joy without alcohol. Emil didn’t drink, he committed suicide, but he gave me that gift before he went. I made my year sober and every year after that until this day. As I slide my arm in the sleeve of my old hippie jacket, I know what makes my heart beat and I think of all the newcomers I will always have have hope for.  

Put Your Suitcase on a Diet & Other Rants

 

It’s bad enough we women are constantly dieting, but we have to put our suitcases on diets or buy them tickets that could cost up to $77. per bag. The days of packing six extra pairs of shoes for matching outfits are over. You have to be clever, lighten your luggage and manifest a magical wardrobe out of very few pieces. Why wasn’t I a Hare Krishna with only one orange sheet to pack and no make up to wear? But alas, the older I get the more products I use in the morning. Now before a trip, I buy pint size baggies, squeeze what I perceive is the daily amount of each cream I need for the length of the trip, make sure it’s under 1 ounce, and challenge the scales and scanners at the airport.

 

I thought I had won the award for an 11-day trip to Spain Italy and France in 2008 with 2 suitcases weighing in only at 26 lbs! When I told a friend  she couldn’t wait to retort with her stats as she had just gone to Thailand for 3 weeks with an 11 lb. roller board. Of course, she does not wear any make up, so that must be the difference. If you ever see me without lipstick on call an ambulance!

 

I pack an outfit for each day with 1 pair of good jeans, 1 pair of black dress slacks as each can be worn twice with a different tops, both casual and dressy. That’s four outfits right there. Laying out clothing on the bed and packing the exact amount of outfits you need for the number of days with only one spare outfit for unexpected events, seems to work. I have a large sling over the shoulder bag from Mephisto that holds all important reading material, inflatable neck pillow from Magellan’s, and toiletries in case I am stranded.

 

     When I was a child it was big deal to fly and you got all dressed up for the privilege of going up into the sky. These days not only you have to pack and prove you are not a terrorist, are environmentally conscious and financially responsible, you have to dress in what is close to pajamas. You have to get undressed to pass security and be comfortable in case you are stranded or stuck on the runway for hours. Plan on wearing that same outfit twice, on both travel days of the trip. 

     I was halfway home from London last week when the lights on the huge two story jet went out. We turned around and went back to London. The five hours and ten lines it took prior to me laying my head on a hotel pillow were grueling. The strangest part was a man on the bus to the hotel yelling at me saying I was carrying too much luggage! I had a carry on and one suitcase that kept rolling out of my hands from a crazy British bus drivers wish to get home. The man was yelling at me about the luggage he wasn't carrying! What???

  

      Traveling by air these days takes stealth of heart, entrepreneurial insight, extra cash and a secure knowledge that there is a God laughing at clocks and calendars so you may as well relax and enjoy the day wherever you are.

Sober Travel Rocks!

By Snow P.

 

    They say that travel is the only thing you buy that makes you richer. Unless you have experienced it, there is nothing like traveling sober with a group of people wearing the God Glasses. It’s a totally different experience than traveling alone or with a group of regular folks. Everything feels amplified, delicious and safe and is appreciated beyond belief.  I tell the tour guides I hire in every country not to worry because miracles follow us everywhere.  The sun shines when it is supposed to be raining, the wildebeests run when it’s too early for the Great Migration to begin; we whisper the 11^th step prayer in front of St. Francis’s tomb when we are supposed to be dead from alcoholism.

      Our adventure this June of nearly 30 people to England, Corsica, Italy, France, Spain, and Portugal was truly blessed and filled with gratitude. Our travel family, glued by a common bond, savored all the sights, sounds and flavors of these ancient places dripping with history, culture and architecture thousands of years old. When someone got cranky, we prayed for them; when someone got lost, we found them; when someone needed a makeup lesson, we got 10 women together to share it. No one was alone unless they wanted to be, and everyone belonged in a way which only survivors understand. While we are normally people who would not mix, an engineer who worked at NASA, a retired navy cook, a make up artist from Hollywood, a CPA and so many more that become one family for the duration of the trip.

     My favorite moments: Seeing a letter in Windsor Castle signed, "Your Friend, Abraham Lincoln";  embracing five friends and family members who took the trip with us and experienced how we truly live one day at a time; being the first in my family to set foot in Corsica in seven generations; seeing the faces of recovering alcoholics as they watched the blackbirds fly over Stonehenge;   having a new member of our travel family  be a good sport and our Team Captain for the Quest Game Show; climbing the rock wall on an amazing cruise ship; filming people boogie boarding on the surfing machine on the ship;  feeling the passion of the flamenco dancers in Spain; the exotic foods; the street vendors, the kindness and the love of our fellowship. When an older woman kept getting lost, another gal decided to hold her hand all day.  You can’t buy what we have; you can’t earn it, steal it or warrant it, it is freely given.

     Our 13^th Halloween Gratitude Cruise this October will be as much fun as all the rest. With amazing Keynote Speakers like Bill Borchert who wrote the screenplay for “My Name is Bill W.” and the book and movie “The Lois Wilson Story, When Love is not Enough” we have people who are an integral part of the history of our program. Not to mention the private crazy costume party we have with more belly laughs than anyone has had the entire year! Each trip has a life of its own and anyone who has traveled with me is a permanent member of this travel family. I’ll see you on the next trip!

Snow@sobercelebrations.com

    

 

Play Therapy

           

    
  When I went to kindergarten, learning how to color inside the lines, enjoy recess, share books and toys and wear bows in my hair was the main focus. I wasn't clock watching, working on a computer,  I was playing. As I got older, I lived my fantasy life inside my 10” black and white TV in my tenement apartment. My favorite movies were Road to Morroco, Road to Zanzibar, and all the road movies with Bob Hope, Bing Crosby & Dorothy Lamour. These were my role models, beautiful people having fun and playing in exotic places.  I had no idea at the time I was just studying for a chapter in my life.  The importance of play, I'm sure, has been documented by professional’s in the fields of psychology, science and human behavior to mention a few disciplines. I don't know anything about that.

   What I do know is that when life becomes so overwhelmingly stressful, if you are an alcoholic like me, all you want to do is drink and die. I have been there. I know lots of people who have been there. I am blessed to have loved, carried and nurtured lots of people in the most heinous circumstances through to the other side of sorrow.

    In the last 14 years of creating, manifesting and hosting sober vacations, I have found that play is the one place where hope cannot help but be born.  After a week, or even sometimes a weekend of intense play with other alcoholics sharing the journey of experience, strength and hope in a playful environment, despair turns into believing, a believing that the person can survive the pain without a drink and get to the other side of whatever the troubling situation is.  

    I have had people come with me on a cruise just to enjoy life before their chemotherapy had to begin; I have had people bring their loved ones ashes to mountain tops and find closure by dancing the next night away with other alcoholics; I have held several shivering brides in my lap who were sure they needed to be divorced before the honeymoon was over, but a night of Halloween costumes changed their minds.

   I had a gentleman who lost his teenage son months prior to a trip his friends coerced him to come on. One night he wound up in a scavenger contest and in front of 2,000 people wearing no shirt but doing a crazy dance in a woman's bra, he found life again. He had to go where no one knew how tragic his life was, he had to go and play like a child to believe he had permission to live again. This seven day sober cruise helped him turn the corner to life.

   Travel agent? No, that’s not what I do. I make arrangements for people get away from reality so they can wrestle it to the ground without a drink and put a clown nose on it.  I help them renew their vows to the three horsemen, Happy, Joyous & Free!  I put my heart and soul into every vacation because this is what I am good at and my special assignment for service. My precious parents gave me the gift of hospitality and my precious program taught me how to use it. I will be forever grateful for all the joy I have witnessed as it has filled my soul with purpose.  Here is the fun part!  I got to actually create my own road movies all over the world on the Road of Happy Destiny!

  

Sharing Secrets

 I have been a Grapevine writer for many years. I love to write, share experience, strength and hope so it has always been a good fit for me. I find the Grapevine staff will publish anything that is a members personal experience but "our" voice. That seems to be the common denominator. We are all Grapevine writers when we take pen to paper.
   For the first time, I wrote about an experience that went to the bottom of my soul where old wounds lived. I was sent the Grapevine release form and returned it requesting  the article be signed "Anonymous". We can help others even when we can barely utter a word, that's how God's grace works. It is given to us freely, and by it's very nature has to spill on everything around us. I'm not in charge of fixing anything, but I surely know where the tools are that do.

Dear Friend Bill Borchert will be one of the Keynote Speakers on the 13th Annual Halloween Gratitude Cruise October 26-November 2, 2014. If you are local, please come and hear this wonderful man speak on June 10, 2014. I never get tired of his smile, his warmth and his connection to our program history.

 

Movies or Move-Mes?

 

 

 

 

     Last night I saw “Captain America, the Winter Soldier”, an outing with my husband and another couple.  I am always happy to see friends I love and any movie, even it’s just another lazy man’s comic book.  We got the 3D glasses, climbed high in the stands at IMAX and watched an incredibly fit and deliciously handsome Chris Evans save the world. This movie was another exercise in Hollywood success.  As a nation, we will always buy products and services which endorse our patriotism and youth culture fantasy. It matters not that most of us are past 32 years old, the hero’s current age. The movie was explosively entertaining, or should I say, entertainment about explosives. It had no nutritional value and the post cinema chatter could only be about the subtitle on the grave marker, a reference to Samuel Jackson’s part in Pulp Fiction. That  was the extent of  "deep thought”.  

     This morning I finally found the time to see a movie sitting on my coffee table for a couple of weeks, “Happy”.  Now, that was a real meal!  I could only burst into tears when an Englishman who gave up his prosperous life to help in Mother Teresa’s House for the Sick & Dying said, “My life is on loan from God. I can only give it back with interest”. If that isn’t the core of a happy life, I don’t know what is. In a world where narcissism is applauded, giving back, creating joy, manifesting happiness for others is not the general goal. This is the first thing we are taught in recovery, get out of yourself and give back! Go pick up the ashtrays! Think about someone else for a change!  Start to wake up to the world around you! Your addiction had you but we want you back!

      As it turns out, "Flow", doing something you absolutely love that makes time stand still (like painting, playing the piano, gardening, etc.) is a necessary component of happiness. The others are friends, family, & sharing food….just being together! From the swamps of Louisiana to the slums in India, happiness has so little, we can virtually say it has NOTHING to do with money! Brain scans show a monk/scientist’s brain to light up on fire when he does Compassion Meditation. We can actually grow our brains with the activities we choose to do, and guest what? We have the choice!

     Everyone is born with a baseline for happiness. 50% of our nature is genetic, 10% circumstance, but the 40% that is left is intentional. We can intentionally change our happiness level. That is mind blowing because change & happiness is definitely optional! The history of the field of psychology has always looked at what is wrong with people. It’s only in the 1980’s that they started looking at what is right with people. It’s now an actual science that is measurable.  You can be by making a Gratitude List at least once a week! Sound familiar? I wish everyone would go to Amazon right now and watch this movie! Bring a paper and pencil to this  documentary about the most intimate feelings of our species. You can easily make a list to put a smiley face on your day, which is, after all, your life!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For Sober Gluten Free Dinner Guests: Delicious Veggie Lasagna

 

Have fun cooking for these folks and be creative!

 

Ingredients

 

1lb mushrooms 2 T pinoli nuts, 3 large zucchini, 1 large yellow pepper, 1/4 Vidalia Onion, basil,  Polenta with sun dried tomatoes, Gia Russa Artichoke Pasta Sauce, 2 4.25 oz cans chopped black

olives.

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Saute everything, do some together.  Layer in pan as indicated. Crisscross to give strength in layers. Don't drown it in sauce. Heat extra sauce on side after baking in 350 degree oven for 40 minutes covered. Mange!

 

How to cook an Italian Feast for 35 of your closest sober friends

     You start  a week before by writing up a menu. They you prepare as many of the ingredients as possible ahead of time. I boiled massive fresh beets until midnight last night and right now,  at 6 in the morning, I am sautéing 1 lb. of sliced fresh mushrooms. I have three days to cook before the party in between work, errands, doctors appointments and sponsoring amazing women. I  choose to complete a special dish for the gluten free folks today as I always  gravitate to the most creative thing and am going to make a doozy this time! I used gluten free pasta the last time they came over and while they loved it, I thought it tasted like paste! More later !

I Don't follow a man, I follow a miracle

By Snow P.

Movie Review: The Anonymous People

This was a good film to help reduce the stigma of addiction, much like an army training film.  When I saw it, most of the audience was in recovery so I am not sure who it was addressed to.  An alternative title could have been “How Many Times Can You Use the Word Recovery in a Sentence”.  In many respects, it was an exercise in monotony. At some point I drifted off and  started thinking about writing a Sci-Fi mystery screenplay based on a DNA.

I never thought so much controversy existed about the word “anonymous” to the extent that a movie had to be made about it. The concept allows everyone into admission with the safety of not having their life blown up before they are equipped to handle such an assault. And yes, people are, and always will be judgmental no matter what slang term differentiates any group of individuals.

When recovery began in 1935 there was an even greater stigma about alcoholism and the black hoods were necessary for anyone who still had any kind of life alcoholism didn’t yet erase.   But then and now, anonymity avoids big shotism, the enemy of humility which is the cornerstone of sobriety.   It’s not that I am in the closet; crusades go against what I have learned about where I stand in relationship to God and people and the traditions of the program that got me there.  It doesn’t much matter who is carrying the bright latern on the dark road, in fact, it is beneficial to have a faceless nameless person because thie important thing is the light for the next person to see. I don’t follow a man, I follow a miracle.

One person in the movie on a personal crusade makes public announcements about her prescription drug usage. I’m not a doctor, but as a person who has seen the sparkle go out of sober people’s eyes and hearts after taking these types of “dual diagnosis” drugs, I can say that when that diagnosis came in for me, I am grateful my sponsor promised me that in time the insanity would pass. In time, it did. I have also seen someone not taking their medication jump off a bridge into oncoming traffic. It’s a fine line only highly educated professionals with the correct agenda can find.  That’s why I love treatment centers like Willingway who talk about “abstinence based recovery”. I didn’t think there was any other kind until I heard that phrase.

I loved seeing the shot of “Operation Understanding” from 1975 a photo I have seen in person.  I am good friends with two people in the photo, Clancy Imislund & Bill Borchert.  It was a project where 51 successful people in the public eye came forward to say they were recovered alcoholics to help reduce the stigma.   Since Bill was in my home group, I guess that was how I wound up being the 2^nd speaker of a 2 speaker meeting with Marty Mann in 1975. I was so new and so terrified I got 103 fever, stayed in bed that night and never even got to meet her. She was definitely a crusader, Bill Wilson was her sponsor, and she started the National Council on Alcoholism with his blessing.  There was no anonymity there.

Bill Borchert is working on a 2^nd “Operation Understanding” for 2015. Too bad it took 40 years for this to come to light again, but Bill has been busy with his very large family, writing and film career.  He will be speaking on our 13^th Halloween Gratitude Cruise this coming Oct.

As a public service announcement, “The Anonymous People” was a good thing. As an inspiration for people to pick up the banner and March, I’m too old school and confess to moving quietly into the parking lot before the film’s end to go home to once again read the book on my night stand “Dr. Bob and the Good Old-timers”.  Will the kids with pierced noses, tattooed foreheads and internet access change the way anonymity functions? You betcha. But if there are still some old timers around perhaps the changes will still have the right garments underneath instead of slips waiting to happen. I hope so.

Welcome Back

    While I would love to have a very cool "started blogging" date on this page I don't.  I've had blogs for years and lost all those profound words in the internet sea. They seem to come and go. It's not really  that important, in fact nothing is that important except what I did today. Did I make it count? Did I hug some beautiful friends or family? Did I make a difference by doing some kind of service? Did I smile at a stranger? Did I do something nice for someone in pain? Yes, I can answer yes to all those questions, so it had been a good day. It's not over yet, but before I go watch some bonding TV with my amazing husband,  I am going to welcome myself back to the blogging world! Welcome back Snow! Where have you been????